Understanding Trauma and Attachment And How To Find Support
Trauma is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, but how much can trauma really affect you? The truth is, it varies a lot from person to person. The emotional impacts of trauma on your life and relationships can be subtle, or profound. Many people carry the weight of their past traumas into their present, affecting not just their personal wellbeing but also how they connect with others. For others, it can be less obvious, it might show up as lots of superficial friendships, but without deeper relationships
Trauma can manifest in a physical way, with chronic headaches, stomach problems, or insomnia. One thing to be aware of is that most of the time, emotional trauma will change the way you interact with the world, and likely with how you connect to your loved ones. Learning more about the link between trauma and attachment can be a great way to begin healing and building healthier relationships, and it’s what we invite you to explore in the article below.
Understanding Trauma
Trauma comes in many forms. It can be from a single event, like a motor vehicle accident, it can come from experiencing physical abuse over years, or you can also experience it from living in a war torn country, if you grew up with chronic neglect, or even by being bullied at school or work. Trauma, at its core, is an emotional response to a distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms you causing feelings of helplessness, and at times may cause a diminishing of your sense of self, and your ability to feel a full range of emotions You may often feel sad, but may be afraid of being angry, or you may notice that you feel uncomfortable with feelings of happiness and pride, and more at ease with feelings of guilt, sadness or shame.
Many people have experienced different forms of trauma. And two people can experience the same event, with one person leaving the situation more traumatized.
The Basics of Attachment Theory
Attachment theory isn’t just about how “attached” you feel to one person or another. It explains how your early relationships with caregivers shape how you interact with loved ones when you are in relationships as an adult (including romantic relationships, friendships, even co-workers or your boss).
Essentially, your early experiences make patterns, or attachment styles, that can be secure or insecure (avoidant, anxious, or disorganized). These styles influence how you relate to others, manage emotional distress, and seek support.
Linking Trauma and Attachment
Trauma can disrupt the normal processes of attachment formation and maintenance. It can impact how you perceive what feels safe, and who you can trust, making it difficult to form and keep close relationships. For instance, someone who has experienced betrayal may find it hard to trust others, impacting their ability to connect on a deeper level.
Signs of Trauma-Affected Attachment in Adults
Recognizing the signs of trauma affected attachment can help you to get support. These may include difficulty trusting others, fear of intimacy or abandonment, and patterns of relationship sabotage.
Insecure attachment styles, characterized by avoidance and/or anxiety, often stem from unresolved trauma and can set up a cycle of emotional distancing or overly close behaviours in relationships.
Healing and Building Healthy, Secure Attachment
Overcoming trauma-related attachment issues is a journey, one that can benefit from the help of a mental health professional. Trauma Counselling can offer a safe space to explore and understand your experiences and their impact on your relationships. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and attachment-based therapy can help address the root causes of trauma and foster healthier attachment patterns. At ThriveWell Counselling, we have multiple therapists who are able to provide trauma informed therapy that specifically addresses attachment needs.
Finding the Right Support - Therapy For Trauma
Choosing a therapist who specializes in trauma and attachment can make a significant difference. Look for professionals like our ThriveWell Counsellors with experience and training in trauma-informed care and attachment theories. Therapy should feel like a collaborative process, where you are an active participant in your healing journey.
Move From Surviving To Thriving
If you’re looking to heal and forge stronger, more secure relationships (with yourself and others!), starting to address both trauma and attachment issues in therapy can be a great step in the right direction.
It's a path towards surviving and thriving, allowing you to break free from the chains of your past and embrace a future filled with deeper connections and emotional security. If you're ready to take the first step towards healing and wish to explore more about trauma counselling, consider contacting ThriveWell Counselling. Our team is dedicated to supporting you through your journey towards recovery and building healthy, fulfilling relationships. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength; you don't have to walk this path alone.