Letting Go of Intrusive Thoughts: A Compassionate Approach to OCD
If you’ve ever found yourself caught in a loop of unwanted or distressing thoughts, you’re not alone. Intrusive thoughts can show up suddenly, often uninvited and overwhelming, leaving you feeling ashamed or uncertain of what they might mean.
At ThriveWell Counselling, we recognize how difficult it can be to live with thoughts that feel confusing, overwhelming, or out of character. These thoughts are more common than many people realize, especially during times of stress or emotional fatigue. These don’t have to define who you are. For some, they fade with time. But for others, particularly those living with OCD, anxiety, or trauma, they can become persistent and emotionally exhausting.
This guide offers gentle, practical strategies to help you understand intrusive thoughts, reduce their emotional weight, and support your journey toward peace and healing.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that can feel disturbing or distressing. They often appear suddenly and can repeat frequently, even when you try to push them away. These thoughts can centre around a wide range of themes, such as health concerns, violence, harm, sexuality, religion, or fear of making a mistake. While the content of these thoughts may feel deeply uncomfortable, they do not reflect your character, values, or intentions.
It’s important to know that having intrusive thoughts does not mean something is wrong with you. In fact, most people experience intrusive thoughts from time to time. What often gives these thoughts power is not just their presence, but the fear and judgment we attach to them. The more we judge or resist these thoughts, the more they tend to stick, creating a cycle that can feel hard to escape.
For those dealing with OCD, anxiety, trauma or depression, these thoughts can become even more persistent. They may feel like an endless loop, known as unwanted repetitive thoughts, which can trigger deep discomfort and even shame. Some people respond with rituals or mental checks in an attempt to feel safe again, while others may avoid certain places or situations to prevent the thoughts from coming up.
Viewing intrusive thoughts as mental events, not reflections of who you are, can be a powerful step. We can begin shifting the focus from fear to curiosity, shame to understanding, and from judgment to acceptance, and with this, it can become easier to manage the emotional weight these thoughts carry.
Why Thought Suppression Doesn’t Work
When an upsetting thought shows up, the natural response is often to try and push it away. However, research shows that trying to suppress thoughts can actually have the opposite effect, making them stronger and more persistent. This is known as the "white bear effect"—the more you try not to think about something, the more it sticks around.
Thought suppression tends to create a loop: the thought pops up, you push it away, and it comes back stronger. Over time, this pattern can increase anxiety and make the thought feel even more powerful or threatening. It’s not the presence of the thought that causes distress; it’s the battle with it.
Coping with intrusive thoughts doesn’t mean getting rid of them. Instead, it means changing how you respond. When thoughts are met with curiosity rather than resistance, they lose their grip. Mindfulness practices can help by teaching you to observe your thoughts without reacting to them. Self-compassion can soften the fear and shame that often come with these experiences.
Trauma, OCD and Intrusive Thoughts
Trauma can leave a lasting impact, not just emotionally but also on how the brain functions. After a distressing experience, it’s common for the nervous system to stay on high alert, even when there’s no real threat. This state of heightened sensitivity can lead to intrusive thoughts as the mind tries to make sense of fear, regain control, or process unresolved pain.
These thoughts may include:
Vivid mental images or urges that may feel threatening or irrational
A sudden fear of causing harm, being harmed, or losing control
Thoughts that feel morally wrong or deeply unsettling
In many cases, these aren’t random thoughts; they are the mind’s attempt to make sense of pain or protect you from it. When you shift the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me?”, it creates space for healing. Trauma-informed therapy can help explore these connections with safety and care.
Practical Ways to Manage Intrusive Thoughts
Trying to erase intrusive thoughts often makes them louder. Managing intrusive thoughts isn’t about control—it’s about learning how to relate to them differently. Here are some gentle, evidence-based strategies that can help:
Mindfulness and Grounding
Simple grounding techniques, such as deep breathing or focusing on your senses, can help you stay present and reduce the emotional intensity of a thought. Over time, mindfulness helps you observe thoughts without becoming overwhelmed by them.Thought Labelling
Instead of reacting to a thought, try naming it: “This is just a thought.” It’s a small but powerful way to create distance between the thought and your sense of self.Values-Based Actions
Intrusive thoughts often pull you toward fear-based behaviours. Instead, pause and ask, “What matters most to me right now?” Choosing actions that align with your values can help you reclaim your focus and energy.Journaling and Emotional Release
Writing down what’s going through your mind, without censoring, can create a healthy outlet for emotional processing. It’s not about fixing the thought, but allowing space for it and observing thoughts without judgment.Limit Reassurance-Seeking
It’s common to seek comfort or certainty from others, but excessive reassurance can keep the cycle going. When possible, practice sitting with uncertainty in small doses, knowing that you are safe and supported.
Each of these practices is like a muscle; it strengthens with time and care. Small shifts in how you respond can begin to ease the intensity of intrusive thoughts and lead you toward greater confidence and peace.
How Individual Therapy Can Help with Intrusive Thoughts
You don’t have to face intrusive thoughts alone. Working with a therapist offers consistent, compassionate support to help you explore what lies beneath these thoughts and discover new ways to cope. Therapy provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can begin to understand the patterns and triggers behind your experiences and develop practical tools to manage distress.
Most importantly, therapy reminds you that you are not broken. These thoughts do not define you, and your feelings and experiences deserve to be acknowledged with kindness. Through this process, you can build emotional resilience and find a path toward greater peace and well-being.
How ThriveWell Counselling Can Help
If you’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts, you don’t have to face them alone. At ThriveWell Counselling in Toronto, our therapists provide trauma-informed, inclusive support tailored to your unique experiences. Whether you’re managing OCD, anxiety, past trauma, or depression, we create a safe space where healing can begin at your own pace.
ThriveWell's therapists recognize how personal and cultural experiences shape mental health. Support is offered with deep respect for your identity, history, and healing process. Care is especially inclusive for LGBTQ2S, BIPOC and neurodivergent communities seeking therapy that truly sees and supports them.
We offer in-person and virtual services in Toronto and the surrounding areas, as well as online counselling throughout Ontario.
Whether this is your first time considering therapy or you’re returning to the process, our team of mental health professionals is here to walk with you. Individual counselling can help you build the tools and insight needed to find lasting relief.
Learn more about individual counselling or connect with Our Team to learn how we can support you towards your path of healing.