Living Out Loud with LGBTQ+ Confidence and Pride
As a therapist who identifies as part of several LGBTQ communities, I've been where you might be today. I've navigated my own exciting, sometimes bumpy, and illuminating path that can come with being queer, nonbinary, and/or trans. Based on supporting many others along their path, and my own experiences of finding and stepping into my true self, I want to share with you some of what I’ve learned about living confidently as an LGBTQ identified individual, and the steps you can take to feel proud of who you are.
Embracing Your Identity: The Truth Is A Beautiful Thing
Your LGBTQ identity is something that in the past, you may have had to hide for personal safety, or for fear or rejection or prejudice. If you are now living in an environment where you have supportive people around you, now may be the right time to embrace your queer/nonbinary/trans-ness more fully and openly. When it comes to connecting to yourself and others within LGBTQ communities, understanding, accepting, and embracing yourself can be an incredible act of courage and self love.
One thing that I’ve learned through my own journey is that we are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings, we don’t have to change their mind. In fact, when we stand in our own truth, those who are ready and accepting will be drawn to that and to us. Those who do not, have their own path to work through.
Cranking Up your Queer / Nonbinary / Trans Confidence
You know that feeling when your favorite song comes on, and you just have to dance? Isn’t it a great feeling to dance without worrying about what people might think about your moves? That’s the feeling that I hope you are able to embrace and connect to within yourself. Below are a few ways to boost your confidence, and help you get there!.
Positive affirmations:
While affirmations may feel awkward at first, these simple phrases can become a part of your inner dialogue as you go about your day - a mantra that you’ve consciously chosen to keep in your mind. Affirmations are like little caring and loving notes you can give to you and your self-esteem, all day, everyday, and especially when you need a boost.
Create a simple sentence that speaks to your heart’s desire. Sing it in the shower, whisper it in the elevator, shout it from rooftops - remind yourself daily how awesome you are. You just might start to believe it, and more importantly, feel it within you.
Affirmations can look like:
I love being (eg. trans, gay, bi, nonbinary, asexual)
I am proud of who I am
Being myself is more than enough
I am valid. I deserve to be respected and loved
My pronouns deserve to be respected
I can make my needs known
I can ask for what I need!
Building a supportive network is a game-changer:
Find the folks who understand your journey, can offer advice, lend a listening ear, and most importantly, celebrate your triumphs with you. They're your chosen family, your rock, and your safe haven in a storm.
There are many ways to build community. Going to Pride events, joining a queer sports group, connecting with folks online, or searching out local LGBTQ support groups.
Embrace self-expression:
This goes beyond clothes or aesthetics, although they can be a significant part of it. Your style, your swagger, your unique sparkle they're all outward manifestations of your fabulous self.
Self-expression can be connected to your sexuality, or not. It’s all about what is going to make you feel good in your skin. Of course, it can also be a bit of a new awakening in itself. Dressing in a way that feels very “you” is such a freeing experience, that soon enough you may find you just can’t go back to the hetero-normative “uniform” or a gendered way of dressing like before - and that’s more than okay! Anyone who is going to be weird about you wearing a leopard print caftan, or a rainbow anything to the grocery store is simply not someone you need to feel connected to or even worry about.
Queer/Trans Pride: Every Day, Every Way
Pride is about being yourself every single day. It's about standing up and not hiding who you are for other people’s comfort. In shining your unique light, you become a human sized beacon for acceptance, and turning up the volume on equality.
Being an advocate can take many forms. Sometimes, it's a gentle correction of someone's misconceptions. Other times, it's rallying for rights and visibility. And often, it's simply existing as your authentic, unapologetic self..
LGBTQ Mental Health Matters
It’s a fact that many of us have faced a fair share of negativity, discrimination and biases - both subtle and overt for our sexual identity.
Being bullied, rejected by family, or friends still happens to people as they come to terms with and come out about their sexuality and sexual identity..
Shaking off this cruelty can be tough. Connecting with a therapist who provides LGBTQ+ counselling can help you to remove any of the negativity that’s been internalized. Speaking with someone who understands the path you’re on can help you to recognize those feelings for what they are - the many negative voices of others, that may come from our past experiences, negative societal attitudes, and internalized oppression. None of these have anything to do with your worth or value. Bringing your song, your melody, your personal story, what really matters to you into focus is what LGBTQ counselling is all about.
Healing Starts With Asking For Help
Despite the resilience of our LGBTQ communities, mental health challenges are a reality. Being queer, trans or nonbinary does make you more likely to struggle with your mental health. The outside world can be hard and harsh, and many of us have faced discrimination, stigma, family rejection and overall, less understanding and support.
If you’re struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, or feelings of isolation - seeing a therapist is one step you can take on your healing journey. The therapists at Thrivewell offer queer/trans affirming counselling, and many of us have lived experience in this area. Those who don’t are strong allies.
Maintaining mental health can also involve practices like mindfulness, adding more pleasurable movement into your life, connecting with community, or simply making more time for self-care. Remember, taking care of your emotional wellbeing isn't just about managing the challenges we might face; it's just as much about fostering a positive and caring relationship with you.
Your Identity is About Who You Love AND About How You Love Yourself
There is a beautiful poem by Anaïs Nin “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That to me speaks so perfectly of the journey so many of us take as we begin to embrace our identity.
When you stand tall, take up space, and dig deep inside, you will find the courage to proudly embrace all of you, and with that, you are allowing yourself to truly shine. Your unique light adds to the diverse tapestry of life, and it makes the world more beautiful and a better place for us all.
For support in your journey - ThirveWell Counselling is here for you. The therapists at ThriveWell all offer LGBTQ counselling that is affirming and compassionate - we know your story matters.